Consolation Prize

Definition

Based on definitions from Oxford Languages/Google, consolation prize

a prize given to a competitor who narrowly fails to win or who finishes last.

Commonly I believe we practice the former, also to rephrase the meaning of narrowly fails to win, it pretty much means that they will only win if the people ahead don’t win.

I have never been a winner all my life. Never once, never narrowly fails to become one. But I’m blessed to always receive consolation prizes (It isn’t narrow at all, I am miles behind).

Just for the sake of clarity, consolation prize here also refers to things I wish to get/achieve but fail to, and somehow, someway I’m compensated with something else. It is a similar analogy, everyone wants to win first, nobody aims for the consolation prize.

The Agony, also The Irony

Consolation prize is an acknowledgement to not being the best. It is such an irony that the prize is supposed to console you, but at the same time, it is also a salt to your wound, mocking that you FAIL to be the winner. Its main purpose is to stop you from crying and whining.

It is common to hear people speak about how history will only remember the winner, the number one, the greatest of all but never give any attention to the 11th fastest track runner, the 17th highest box office movie. But we do know the number ones are Usain Bolt and Avatar. Owing to the novelty, those who are slightly ambitious will aim for it.

In the recent event, World Cup 2022, there has been a great debate about Ronaldo and Messi, who is the GOAT. And yes, there are many chicken soup motivational talks about how you should focus on the game instead of yourself, we can’t deny that the idea of being the best acts a great drive to push yourself forward. So I’m not going to be hypocritical and claim that, this is superficial and stupid. This is a system that there will only be ONE winner, and the rest are losers, even coming in second place. Sadly, we live in this cruel concrete jungle.

The Shallow. The Empty. The Abyss.

The realization of not being the best and having no chance being the best is a painful moment. We start to find excuses to our failures, he has a greater edge over me because he comes from a wealthy family background, he is more successful than me because he got lucky, he won because I was dealing with some other issues with my life. All these are for nothing but to make ourselves feel better. Then we (the several thousand miles behind) give up, we stop pursuing our dreams, to some who are more extreme might even find some other ways out like abusing drugs.

The emptiness in your life, the regret of not being the best despite devoting your entire life to it. It reminds me of LCW, our badminton player in Malaysia, having 3 silver in his 3 attempts in Olympic games. It would have been perfect if he would have just won one Gold for once, but is it fate, is he just not good enough? I guess there must be a hole in his heart, narrowly failed to win. Not once, or twice, but 3 times.

Self-discovery

The acceptance is hard. Accepting the fact that you are not the best and you will never be the best is hard, painful, disappointing, overwhelmed by emotions. At the same time, we need to understand that life is not single dimension and each of us is unique, I truly mean it, literally, whatever you have experienced, the background you have, every single moment is unique to you. (Don’t NDT me about how fucking big the universe is) That’s also why I named my startup sonderbase, which derives from the word sonder.

The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passing in the street, has a life as complex as one’s own, which they are constantly living despite one’s personal lack of awareness of it.

I have learnt that I’m not going to be the best anything (if anything, it has to be whining, I’m very good at it) but that doesn’t stop me from moving forward. I’m reasonably good at a few things and the diversity will come into fruition (I hope). Then, I finally start to learn to focus on a game, regardless winning or losing, it is a great journey that nurtures me. And when I lose the weight on my shoulder, I learn to approach with different angle and learn to play my game. I can spend more of my free time exploring my second hobby, blogging (yes, another piece of shitty writing over the internet), reading, playing guitar, playing chess, writing useless scrapers to backup my instagram crush photos. There is so much more of me that I thought.

All in all, many of us are not the best at anything. We are good at some of the things I’m sure each of us is. I hope this shouldn’t discourage you from becoming the best, but to majority of the losers out there, I hope you find there’s more of you than you think.

I wanna end this with less dramatic ChatGPT responses.

What is a consolation prize

A consolation prize is a prize given to participants who do not win a competition or contest, as a form of recognition or reward for their participation. It is typically given to runners-up or those who did not win the top prize.

Is consolation prize good

Whether a consolation prize is good or not depends on the context and the individual’s perspective. Some people may view a consolation prize as a positive recognition of their effort and participation, while others may see it as a disappointment for not winning the top prize. It can also be seen as a way to encourage participation and to make the competition more inclusive.